Burnin’ down the house…


When the smoke cleared, I panicked. The air bit like a rabid mongrel. And as I glanced back toward the house, I thought of the coat I left inside. Twenty degrees- and no coat.

That was then. One learns from these things…which is a good thing… for next time. Today was “next time.”

“Next time” came following the purchase of (1) a new Lodge iron skillet, fully coated for your convenience and (2) a package of an asian chicken stir fry- unfortunately pre-frozen. I say “unfortunately” because it took a light year to “unthaw” and “thoroughly cook” said frozen chicken item. Unfortunately, thawing is the process following burning. The result is a composite goo resembling an experiment from DuPont Chemical…which is not a good thing. Said process also involves sirens, fire trucks, men in heavy rubber-looking outfits…if one does not rescue said experiment from burning stove. I managed to avoid this last step by…tossing the pan skyward while praying for a soft landing. I dare say the couch suffered less abuse than the pan.

When all things dissipated- including my appetite, I scoured the area with “natural” chemicals from a Method cleaner bottle, opened all doorways/windows I could, and waited to see if any embarrassed neighbors passed by…

But no one stopped. Could it be that they expect such cooking from a bachelor?

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About thelostkerryman

Thelostkerryman is an author, entrepreneur, and disciple- this side of Tir Na N'Og- living in the forests of a consistently confused country. Here in this hill country, hurling doesn't usually involve a hurley, store-made soda bread resembles an inedible Irish megalith, and Kerrygold is only found hidden like a luck penny in the belly of Kroger. This blog is an account of his adventures, thoughts, eclectic -and eccentric- ramblings, random or insightful poetry, humor and non-humor, pictures (photos), video, essays, fiction, poetic fiction, nonfiction, drama, and writing he has not classified in the description above. All of my posts, thelostkerryman.wordpress.com, everydayasadisciple.wordpress.com, and mrandmrsboring.wordpress.com are copywrited according to international copywrite law.
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2 Responses to Burnin’ down the house…

  1. I shared this on my facebook page, hope it will attract the attention of some 130 pound under 40 female who is a gourmet cook

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