Wanna you like?

Warning: A sense of humor may be dangerous to your health. may cause hiccups, nasal drainage, outbursts of socially unacceptable humor, barking farts, drooling, and other humor-induced secretions. Please use caution while laughing….

Spamland is a place where intriguing inboxes, full of promise, survive on the whim of your mouse click-

wanna you like establish me so. i nice woman, like fun time.

-or where Spam Dwarves hurl large chunks of verbal vomit into your netface.

jjijbbbvzv  vveeee bbrbebbsbbbsbbbsbbb mijvkwvrta

Or- where irresistible messages float in from the Virtual Void, also known as “Nigeria on a bad day-“

you will receive million dollar from estate of late cousin James Horatio Smith. He say you nearest living male relative. Have a happy day! Please send reply immediately…

In between these happy hopefuls, a few stray regular emails fall prey to the Spaminator, a silent netface hiding deep within the network grid…a creature so powerful, so evil, it cannot be contained…

archaeology.com                                   Re:your recent bill

Chesapeake Energy                               October Bill

…evil, evil bills…evil…

And somewhere in the oceans of  Webdom, we find stray spam gems, sifting through White People Meet: Dating For White People, the U.S. Department of Education, Honduran Coastal Timeshares, and Heritage Clan Kilts, that might actually enable us to move forward in life (I ain’t afraid of no kilt) and face the future…

…wearing my new highland kilt, blowing in the wind, with my best girl at my side, standing atop the higher reaches of the Reeks, while we scan the horizon for a stray little cottage foundation that says “home.” And armed with a spam-mail printout, complete with diagrams and instructions, we tie the ratchet in front onto our bellies, lace our boots, and point our whistles into the wind…


About thelostkerryman

Thelostkerryman is an author, and entrepreneur, living in the forests of a consistently confused country. Here in this hill country, hurling doesn't usually involve a hurley; store-made soda bread has the consistency of a sea sponge; and Kerrygold butter has finally found a permanent place on the grocery shelves everywhere. His blogs are an account of his adventures, thoughts, eclectic -and eccentric- ramblings, random or insightful poetry, humor and non-humor, pictures (photos), video, essays, fiction, poetic fiction, nonfiction, drama, and writing he has not classified in the description above. All of his posts from thelostkerryman.wordpress.com, talesinastrangerstrangerland@wordpress.com, everydayasadisciple@wordpress.com, and mrandmrsboring.wordpress.com are copywrited according to international copywrite law.
This entry was posted in Culture, Dreams/Goals, Education, humor, Ireland, Language, Life, Scotland, Uncategorized, Women and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Wanna you like?

  1. “wanna you like establish me so. i nice woman, like fun time.” Lol, I get these and can’t help but admire the grammar and creativity of these women. I wish they would figure out that ‘khaula’ is a feminine name, can you believe I actually got messages like that on the Authonomy site? Love this post 🙂

  2. Pingback: Hilariously Funny: 2013 | thelostkerryman

  3. gimpet says:

    Living in Ireland is one of my lifetime goals. My genes tug at me to go “home”. Maybe someday…..

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s