Techtonic Plates of Change

If I hear one more commercial about “4G phones,” I may just call a company and ask for their brains. “4G” means nothing anymore, like the words/phrases “stuff,” “a la carte,” and “balanced budget.” (see “balanced meal,” which may insinuate deep fried grease particles, fish, malt vinegar, and styrophoam at certain fast-food-fish establishments) What we really need to hear about are 5G phones, 10G phones, and 50G phones. They sound impressive, not pathetic.

There was a time when we all spoke the same language, even if we all spoke different languages. But now, the techtonic plates of change have collided so much, we have an earthquake of words and phrases being pushed through from somewhere deep in the earth…and certainly, not deep in the mind.

Stupid is an act of scientific research when it comes to consumerism these days. I have seen more intelligent dribble on the side of split pea soup labels. I look forward to Oxyclean and Shamwow because they don’t try to appeal to my brain with stupid new technological words  or phrases, they just show me what they really can do (oxyclean probably doesn’t work on your dog’s fur though).

So, with so much technological advancement, it is time to use more intelligent titles. Google Glasses just sound too much like something a toddler says, so why not call it Googlevision?

And what about those new advanced technology phones? Do I hear a 50G phone? It sounds much more impressive than 4G, which sounds like something Vinnie might say if he needs to place a bet on say…Googletariet. I could trot out some more examples, but I won’t annoy you…

So, how about contacting your nearest small hand held device company and telling them they need to hire some actual creative people to come up with new names for their products? It sure would be more exciting than listening to the latest unintelligable ramble of some young guy with sideburns (uh, what are they thinking?) selling me on a device that can do everything but shave my armpits, and calling it a 4G phone.

About thelostkerryman

Thelostkerryman is an author, and entrepreneur, living in the forests of a consistently confused country. Here in this hill country, hurling doesn't usually involve a hurley; store-made soda bread has the consistency of a sea sponge; and Kerrygold butter has finally found a permanent place on the grocery shelves everywhere. His blogs are an account of his adventures, thoughts, eclectic -and eccentric- ramblings, random or insightful poetry, humor and non-humor, pictures (photos), video, essays, fiction, poetic fiction, nonfiction, drama, and writing he has not classified in the description above. All of his posts from,,, and are copywrited according to international copywrite law.
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1 Response to Techtonic Plates of Change

  1. queenlorene says:

    There is technology and there are wordsmiths. And never the twain shall meet. Technology is outpacing our ability to categorize it, or make up words to describe what the new object really does. Or that is my theory on it.

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