An Ode To My Stalker, while I cannot sleep…


In the absurdity of things, I have found some rather immature stalker tracing my whereabouts, for what purpose I know not, other than for a strange amusement. I am not famous, do not drive a Lexus, nor have a big house on the hill (although said stalker might  find solace in such a place as the house on the hill). It is with partial amusement, and partial caffeine-overload, that I begin a nice little poem, more in the style of Mister Seuss than Mister Shakespeare. Please be assured I am most likely not speaking of you, since 90.99999999% of the people reading my posts are…well, likely normal people….or at least don’t want to know what I brush my teeth with at night…

It is strange, you see-

to follow after me.

I am not so tall, nor so wide

so I can always go into the bushes to hide.

but- you follow me here and follow me there

what purpose is this, that I should care?

my socks are not green

nor my hair turning white

I cannot discern why you would so delight

in knowing my weight and especially my height

and what dental products I have on my shelves

and what I think of hobbits and certainly of elves

it makes no sense, it doesn’t compute

I thought you were sane and a bit more astute.

But now that I know how your mind is quite muddled

I stand on my head, entirely befuddled…

and nearly asleep, finally.

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About thelostkerryman

Thelostkerryman is an author, and entrepreneur- this side of Tir Na N'Og- living in the forests of a consistently confused country. Here in this hill country, hurling doesn't usually involve a hurley, store-made soda bread resembles an inedible Irish megalith, and Kerrygold is only found hidden like a luck penny in the belly of Kroger. His blogs are an account of his adventures, thoughts, eclectic -and eccentric- ramblings, random or insightful poetry, humor and non-humor, pictures (photos), video, essays, fiction, poetic fiction, nonfiction, drama, and writing he has not classified in the description above. All of his posts from thelostkerryman.wordpress.com, talesinastrangerstrangerland@wordpress.com, everydayasadisciple@wordpress.com, and mrandmrsboring.wordpress.com are copywrited according to international copywrite law.
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One Response to An Ode To My Stalker, while I cannot sleep…

  1. queenlorene says:

    Luv it…had a stalker myself in college. But mine wasn’t nearly so amusing. Although, nowadays, anyone with enough energy to obsessively follow another person is capable of anything.

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