all the friends in the world…

I gotta admit, I don’t like some people. I love them. They’re the kind of people you want to make laugh- the kind of people who smile like when the sun comes out, the kind of people who just brighten up every day they live. I wish I could be like that, but my life has been too much of a saga for that every day Smile-A-Thon kind of thing.

I can’t forget some of those radiant smile-puppies. I’ve lost all of their whereabouts, every single one of them. Hopefully, the fire of their smiles has not dimmed over the ages, as the evil of the world has assailed them.

Perhaps somewhere they are hiding among  the smiling faces on a virtual friends list, blessing facebook with positive happy thoughts. If you see one of them, let them know you love their smile. After all, not everyone on facebook is smiling- some pictures were taken during constipation, bloating, and the menstrual cycle (not unlike a unicycle, which is also a pain).

But the best pictures are when happiness and joy exude from the face of the facebook photo. It is as if Mama Boucher (see The Waterboy) was right and the”magic rays of sunshine that come down when you’re feelin’ blue” have scattered across the screen, bringing a smile to even the grumpiest face.

And those folks become irresistible. Downright friend material. So what if you don’t actually know them? They know Billy, who happens to live in your town, and Billy knows your cousin’s boyfriend’s mother’s cousin, who happens to have a beautiful smile, and that’s good enough, isn’t it?

It seems like that must be one of the processes of “friend-finding” done by  thousand-plus friendophiles. I’m amazed that I’ve managed to gather thirty some friends on facebook, while Stewart Nobody boasts thousands. So, after some shallow thinking, I have reflected on some other possible friending processes employed by these friendophiles:

1. “Hey, I know that country, I’ll friend them.”

2. “That was my brother’s cat’s name, therefore, he has to be a great guy.”

3. “His profile says he lives in my town. I must know him. I think.”

4. “She is really hot, therefore, I will friend her. (or vice versa)”

5. “That photo reminds me of my dog Ralph, who died in a car accident when my dad backed up in the driveway…”

6. “I swear he looks like Jay Leno. I’ll friend him. He could be Jay Leno, even if he calls himself Hans Van Druschek.”

7. “Her name is Shelly. I think I’ve heard that name before…somewhere.”

8. “She’s wearing my favorite burka.”

9. “If I looked like that, I wouldn’t have any friends. I’ll just send this friend request to make him feel better.”

10. “I’ll friend anyone once.”

makes you wonder about these people…who do they really know?

About thelostkerryman

Thelostkerryman is an author, and entrepreneur, living in the forests of a consistently confused country. Here in this hill country, hurling doesn't usually involve a hurley; store-made soda bread has the consistency of a sea sponge; and Kerrygold butter has finally found a permanent place on the grocery shelves everywhere. His blogs are an account of his adventures, thoughts, eclectic -and eccentric- ramblings, random or insightful poetry, humor and non-humor, pictures (photos), video, essays, fiction, poetic fiction, nonfiction, drama, and writing he has not classified in the description above. All of his posts from,,, and are copywrited according to international copywrite law.
This entry was posted in Characters, Culture, humor, Life, Men, Relationships, Uncategorized, Women and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to all the friends in the world…

  1. helenmidgley says:

    Great piece. P.S. your the 3rd post I’ve read this week that mentioned Waterboys, gotta love em 🙂

  2. love this for the truth it it represents in all the social networks LOL. Love it!

  3. gimpet says:

    I have “unfriended” facebook!

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