Continental Confusion


Parsley is so underrated. First, it is green. Second, It is savory. And, also, it compliments garlic, blends well with cucumber, and makes chicken look pretty (at least the legs, thighs, and breasts). When was the last time a condiment made your legs, thighs, and breasts look better…oh, never mind…

But really, you could do worse. Especially with what you have in the fridge…well, if you’re single. Trying to come up with new recipes is difficult. To make matters worse, many of us shop at the grocery with a short circuit telling us to “get out of the store! get out of the store! do it now! before it is too late! no, not that dark chocolate…it has 43 grams of sugar. get out of the store!”

So you pass by the frozen food section, trying not to look at the cute redhead, and dump several plastic-like bags of beer battered fish into the cart, some unknown and unpronounceable vegetable mix, and a can of fruit cocktail. Fruit cocktail- what the flip are you thinking of! You can’t mix it with anything!

And so you cover ground much more quickly…until the hormones kick in…and you discover you are clutching an avocado. And a package of smelt-like little chicken strips from the severed legs of surprised, but now deceased, poultry. God forbid you put them back, as the young cashier who seems to smile every time you look her way, sees you try- attempt- to put them back. In the drink aisle. Near some sort of new coconut water.

So when you come to the checkout line- or counter, and let the young woman caress your avocado into a plastic bag, you now have no idea what to make with this mess. You comfort yourself with the thought that no one will see your meal, even if you decide to eat fish and chips for the seventh time in a row.

But your muse is telling you- as you drive home- that you can do something with your mix, even the fruit cocktail. “Surely, there is something I can make…different.”

And you would be right. Even if you had the following ingredients, very little time, and an IQ bordering on the average intelligence of an African Swallow (or is it European?).

With glee- not watching the program- you cook your fishy-looking chicken strips in a pan, then follow the following incredible directions, making yourself look like a super genius…

1. Mash one avocado

2. Add two tablespoons of hummus, two tablespoons of extra virgin olive oil, and a handful (ripped, not shredded peacefully) of curled parsley. Mash with a fork, then stir.

3. Add a teaspoon of garlic (or add your own mutilated garlic cloves), a dash of hungarian paprika, a dash of cumin, and a dash of love. Mix well.

4. Dice- violently- a cucumber (best done while watching football, hockey, or hurling) into tiny little bits. Dump into a bowl with the other ingredients.

5. Add some chopped scallions on top (I didn’t have any).

Viola! You have a magnificent dinner…with or without accompanying diners.

About thelostkerryman

Thelostkerryman is an author, and entrepreneur, living in the forests of a consistently confused country. Here in this hill country, hurling doesn't usually involve a hurley; store-made soda bread has the consistency of a sea sponge; and Kerrygold butter has finally found a permanent place on the grocery shelves everywhere. His blogs are an account of his adventures, thoughts, eclectic -and eccentric- ramblings, random or insightful poetry, humor and non-humor, pictures (photos), video, essays, fiction, poetic fiction, nonfiction, drama, and writing he has not classified in the description above. All of his posts from,,, and are copywrited according to international copywrite law.
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1 Response to Continental Confusion

  1. gimpet says:

    Yeah! You have embraced the Paleo Diet! Perfection! This really does sound good to the person who has been eating just like this all summer. I need to find a Paleo blog for recipe ideas.

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