Five Below and a Vortex of Snow

The snowfall is dancing around outside my window, a nice break from the killer Polar Vortex that came- with teeth a thousand miles wide and breath like Frosty the Snowman. It is scheduled to make an appearance again tonight, like a bad comic on stage too long…when the audience has had more than enough.

But the snow whirling around on a Saturday is pleasant enough while inside. I look out my window and it is engaged in a serious partner-less tango, carried by the whims of wind whispers. It will not be so pleasant when the next week comes and the roads are not plowed, and life demands I be somewhere other than here.

Killer Vortex 3 would try to wipe the wind out of my lungs again if I ventured out into the chill coming tonight. It is supposed to drop down to minus five degrees farenheight, which in  Celsius must be considerably lower than -10 or -15. The problem with Celsius here in the states is that no one uses it, and although I was taught at any early age, it reminds me of Math, and as you may know by now “math is evil.” (Given- Math has four letters. Given- Evil has four letters. Therefore, Math and Evil are synonymous…rationally exposing Math as Evil). The rationally ends there, as we all know that “Ireland” and “heaven” do not have the same count of letters but are- in fact- related…

But for now the vortex of snow and Polar Vortex 3 have simply slowed down my domestic workload. I have accomplished grand tasks today, in the form of…

• I vacuumed the dining room
• I changed the vacuum bag
• I ate breakfast and lunch
• I opened the closet door
• I looked out the window a half dozen times
• I emptied a container
• I washed my hands three times
• I thought about brushing my teeth again
• I thought about watching a video
• I almost thought about taking a shower
• I almost thought about reading work materials
• and then I realized, I have been working much too hard…for a day in the Land of Vortex Fever, and I wrote this blog post instead.