An Ode to An Expired Carton of Greek Delight

this evening i have been reading some good poetry, from Kirsten Uninterrupted            

and The Forlorn Fairy ( ). i love their poetry and hope you will too…

i confess to feeling a little under the weather lately (since it is above me), sleeping more than 14 hours at a time and looking forward to the end of prescription side effects. while awake last night, i struggled writing a post that normally would take a matter of a half hour or hour at most. i revised like a hamster in a cage, like a hamster in a cage…like a hamster in a cage…until it sounded palatable…which got me to thinking about bad writing…particularly, bad poetry. 

in order to understand truly good poetry, one must have been exposed to truly bad poetry. i have seen my share over the years, and indeed, i have -for amusement- written some just for the fun of it. for truly bad poetry (notice the trinity of trulys) all has one thing in common- it is easy to recognize, yet hard to define.

various sites online claim to have horrific poetry, but alas, one look tells me that some audience might actually love them. One would have to look for the inspired Douglas Adams’ garbled Vogon Poetry for any no-brainer-bad-poem…though there are many song lyrics worthy of such honor, beginning with Biber’s “Baby.”

But i was not satisfied with the internet examples, so I am trying my hand at it…inspired by pulling a carton of greek yogurt from the fridge, and discovering…to my dismay…the dreaded expiration date… 



took you out of my refrigerator and noticed the label

warning my brain of catastrophe after March 19

inside inedible, do you smell odoriferous?

or….or…or…do you taste like destiny?

eating you would be bad poetry

spooning you would be bad protocol

peeling your cover would make you naked,

exposed, expired, and a bit too lumpy

O, Yogurt, Sweet Pile of Unstrained Yogurt,

why do you slouch sideways in your plastic cup?

you spawn of Satan, go back to the place they made you

and rot with the other recyclables discarded in a hurry…

for you, O fetid Yogurt,

are much too furry.


note: the yogurt pictured above is not the disposed relic…

About thelostkerryman

Thelostkerryman is an author, and entrepreneur, living in the forests of a consistently confused country. Here in this hill country, hurling doesn't usually involve a hurley; store-made soda bread has the consistency of a sea sponge; and Kerrygold butter has finally found a permanent place on the grocery shelves everywhere. His blogs are an account of his adventures, thoughts, eclectic -and eccentric- ramblings, random or insightful poetry, humor and non-humor, pictures (photos), video, essays, fiction, poetic fiction, nonfiction, drama, and writing he has not classified in the description above. All of his posts from,,, and are copywrited according to international copywrite law.
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3 Responses to An Ode to An Expired Carton of Greek Delight

  1. gimpet says:

    This made me giggle! Loved the image of the yogurt slouching….I don’t care about the expiration date, I eat it anyway. After all, it has bacteria in it, that is what makes it yogurt! Thank you for the endorsement, Kira is a marvelous poet, willing to try any poetry form, and inspires me every day! You will have to check out her Tuesday faith posts that she is starting.

  2. Kirsten says:

    Oh, my gosh you have me rolling at lunch…at work none the less. This is fabulous. I’m a bit fastidious about dairy dates. You might even say obsessive about them. I drank bad milk once and I will never forget it. Thank you so much for the shout out. I’m humbled that you like my poetry. Lori, is an amazing poet. I love her unique word choices. She writes from her heart. She inspires me daily. I am really glad she had me check out your blog. I’m loving both of them!

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