Three years and no banana

Today marks my three year anniversary. Three years writing on wordpress. Three years since my last date…and yes, I am, alas, terribly eligible. Three years since the day I ate my first organic banana. Three years since I last brushed my teeth with non-biodegradable toothpaste. Three years since I wore a pair of silk boxer shorts beneath my dress pants. Three years since I last ate buffalo burgers…and, three years since i bathed “Creek-I am not fat in these woods-style” in a proper frigid mountain river.

I would write poetry to that river, but I suppose that would be rather cold, since it was not written to a love who could actually get her arms around me. In this increasingly silly world of sexual preferences…like choosing from a lineup of toasters, I cannot fathom taking selfies with a river, caressing her waves, and holding out hope…so long…that she would respond with wet kisses.

Anyway, it has been so long that…would I remember how to pucker up? Would I remember that my lips were not supposed to bite the top of the woman’s lip like so many really bad acting scenes in old black and white movies?

I could log off now and fade away into the hundred shades of grey…but I am just getting started.

In the meantime, I’ll wish you happy Valentine’s Day…from one without a Valentine.