all the world’s an app…

all the world’s an app….but none of them really work right. the google play store is like a playground with too many merry-go-rounds. someone please get me  off  of   here. 

on one of my more particularly pleasant trips on the merry-go-round, I discovered some nice language apps that creators swore were “magical,” “transformational,” and everybody’s favorite…”engaging.” for the myriads of reviewers of these promising products, these descriptions might be a bit lacking. as in “one star,” or the more existential “one point two stars.” not sure what that is, but it is transformational for me.

one was particularly essential, having the ability to translate to and from Irish and English, and hold your breath here came with real Irish pronunciation. such a grand thing never happens on the Irish apps, though every site has someone with a thorough background in  Guarani who will translate and enunciate Guarani words in every dialect known to man (…and women, snakes, and llamas) since 1620.

Perhaps that is why the app translated “glasrai” to “glossary.” No, that is not me slurring words, it is an Anglo-centric software app. It must be racist. 

OK, let’s try something harder. “Ta se te…” It is warm and rainy today…

The English app translated “your pooping good.”

Apparently, an 11 year old fixated with his butt crack, translates the Irish into whatever he wants. The app makes no apologies. Irish is included…but it is obviously a “low risk environment” to translate to “Irish speakers.” Yer man sure would not get upset with a mistranslation like the average Elamite or Hittite speaker would….but, how off can you be?

On the other hand, the English translation …from every other language known to women, men, and their dogs…worked like it was backed by a team of Oxford scholars. with their shirt tales in. on a sunny afternoon. while watching cricket. in the yard. 


maybe more to ponder….later….perhaps.






About thelostkerryman

Thelostkerryman is an author, and entrepreneur, living in the forests of a consistently confused country. Here in this hill country, hurling doesn't usually involve a hurley; store-made soda bread has the consistency of a sea sponge; and Kerrygold butter has finally found a permanent place on the grocery shelves everywhere. His blogs are an account of his adventures, thoughts, eclectic -and eccentric- ramblings, random or insightful poetry, humor and non-humor, pictures (photos), video, essays, fiction, poetic fiction, nonfiction, drama, and writing he has not classified in the description above. All of his posts from,,, and are copywrited according to international copywrite law.
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2 Responses to all the world’s an app…

  1. Tim Shey says:

    Here is a film on the growth of Christianity in Iran that you might like to see:

    Sheep Among Wolves: Volume One

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