In a new twist to substantially increase Post-Thanksgiving Celebration Shopping Events, a group of the 30 largest US retailers have announced the kick-off of “Amarillo Tuesday.” The event, which will coordinate retailer savings with participation in Mexican restaurant promotions, will go national at 4:30PM EST Tuesday.
Richard Los Lobos, a spokesman for the group “The Society for the Promotion of Mexican-American Cuisine” stated that many chain and local restaurants will participate.
“Every retailer displaying an Amarillo Tag Sale Event (or a picture of a Large Yellow Tortilla Chip) will offer a paired dining experience with a locally-owned or chain restaurant selling Mexican food. Shoppers will need only follow posted rules in each store,” Los Lobos said.
When asked if he thought there might be confusion with the retailer’s rules, Los Lobos stated, “We don’t anticipate that. After all, these are Americans, and by and large, they’re a pretty smart group- most of the time.”
But not everyone is so confident. Dale Weinbrenner, a spokesman for The Walnut Grove Retail Association in Walnut Grove, believes US shoppers will be utterly confused.
“In my neck of the woods nobody knows what the (heck) Ammarilla is. If they go shopping, huntin’ for it, who is gonna know where to put it so you can find it? It ain’t like going to ask for a Big Mac or somethin’,” Weinbrenner admitted.
Weinbrenner isn’t alone. A number of retailers in neighboring cities have dropped out of the event, claiming it is racist.
“This here is America. If ya can’t put it in English, ya ought to be deported,” Allie Huck, owner of Nascar Collectibles, argues. “It ain’t right to have these Mexicans comin’ up here and makin’ us eat their food.”
Huck believes retailers should extend the special shopping deals to Saturday, the day after Black Friday, and offer “American” products that day at a 10% discount to all legal citizens. She would call it the “White Trash Weekend Sale.”
“Just bring your birth certificate in, and we’ll give you a 10% discount on anything in the store- even the Richard Petty Collectible Dog Dishes.” Huck announced. “I’ll be doin’ that every Saturday after Thanksgiving for any God-gifted American.”
And she is not alone. Down the road from her, Bob Barnes, manager of the “Get and Gas.” states he will offer a 15% discount to all shoppers wearing a Duck Dynasty Shirt. “It’s American, that’s it,” he stated, when asked why he was joining Huck next year in the White Trash Weekend Spectacular. “Gotta make money some way.”
Barnes, along with Huck and their supporters are already planning an advertising blitz for the event, slated for “Thanksgiving Saturday” next year in the USA. They have enlisted ZZ Top to do a “White Trash Weekend” advertising campaign in 27 cities and towns across the South and Midwest.
“I’m sure we’ll take down that Tuesday thing,” Barnes said, when asked about the new marketing campaigns. “We can’t afford any more changes to the gene pool.”
But while the Amarillio Tuesday event offers a chance for extending cultural awareness, Barnes and Huck, want no part of it. Theirs is an America lost in a relative time warp, perpetuated by shallow television shows and misconceptions about the cultural makeup of the country. Unfortunately, they are not alone.
They mirror the divisions among an increasingly weary public, one that a recent poll highlighted as being “untrusting” of not just neighbors, but everyone not like them. This is a dangerous time for the USA; if this trend continues, the very social fabric of the nation is at stake. It is as if the once great economic and military power is collapsing in on itself, in fear and mistrust. In this climate, corruption has increased, and class division has substantially widened.
My purpose in writing this “hypothetical news article” is to point out the condition of the country, reflecting on it through the very American “Black Friday/Post Thanksgiving Sales” phenomenon. I welcome your comments, but only if you have read the entire piece, and understand the biting humor.