As I look back on the year, it is cumbersome for me to dissect all the posts and events that filled my life in 2013. So- I have decided to treat you to a list of some of the more important things that did not happen to me this year…
1. I did not get abducted by aliens from Chu’lak. Although I watched nearly every episode of the Stargate series, the stargate did not lock onto my coordinates.
2. Miley Cyrus did not visit my house in the nude. Not sure whether that was bad or good.
3. I never learned what the fox says. I have been in therapy ever since.
4. The doctors did not remove an eight foot intestinal worm from my bowels. However, there were many web news accounts of spiders, birds, tiny snakes, salamanders, mold, fungi, mitochondria, baba ganoush, and more…invading men, women, children, and bacon…
5. I never got to ride in a gypsy caravan, dance with a beautiful gypsy woman, nor gallop away on a horse called Tir Na N’Og…
6. My ex did not return to my neighborhood via a wormhole. Thank God.
7. No giant sinkhole, meteor, hurricane, nor tsunami swallowed my apartment, my car, my refrigerator, my stove, my snow shovel, nor my elf hat…
8. I did not get lost forever in a giant Walmart parking lot and discover a black hole. Not even at Christmas.
9. I never found myself singing “O Canada” in French, while skating with baguettes, at an NHL hockey game in Ottawa during a blizzard. Although it might actually happen in Canada…to some guy…
10. I never saw Sasquatch at one of the reported sighting areas…of course, I forgot to bring any beef jerky, so…
By the way, check out my colleague “Gimpet” at repressedexpressions.com. It was her blog post that got me thinking about doing a “year-end” type post.