ponnd lyffe

have you ever met an individual capable of explaining the scientific processes which enable the whatever-system of a pond to not only exit, but to thrive, during the most breathtakingly dull phases of winter weather?

pond2it is as scintillating as a songbird singing among the seagulls along a seashore on a unseasonally sunny day.

but better.

this is the stuff of dreams, lads, the fiber of intellect that moves men (and that other, softer and much more lovely sex) to become rational geniuses…to transcend the lowly horizontal thinker with a reason so pure, so devoid of subjectivity, as to be on a plane above the clouds…

but better.

it is the stuff of “I started this company with a hamster cage and a $4 dollar bill” legend…almost as good as being the shadow of Stephen Hawking (whose shadow, during a particularly shadowy kind of day, might be as brilliant as to handle a conversation with Siri, where he can convince her that she is a missing link in the evolutionary chain).

but better.

these scientific masters of the visually-unseen often pass beyond the realm of the low- information-citizen through government-funded discoveries. it is because of these superior intellectual funds that such geniuses are able to describe the world of pond scum with such accuracy that they do not have to sample any objects from that pond life. but this is just a fraction of their intellectual prowess…for their real talent lies in their dead-on description of all phases of the male brain, and the more stimulating female brain, even though their own lives are spiritually-challenged.

but better

so spiritually-challenged that these rational thinkers base their evidence on faith in an irrational premise, which completely invalidates every work that they might produce for human consumption. which is why, as of this moment, I have never met a scientist who had as rational a theory on life, let alone pond scum, as a 12 year old girl obsessed with her butt-crack (not to be confused with good craic). in fact, I have met a few pre-pubescent students who had a better understanding of the facts of life than a high school science teacher with 20 years experience filling the minds of dumbed-down youth. I have even heard a five year old describe the meaning of life with more spiritual sense than a Nobel Prize winning author…

but even better…

leave pond life a mystery…because life should have some mysteries, or it would not be quite as exciting. and so, while I appreciate the attempt by some to try to explain the behavior of pond scum, policemen, women, and tadpoles…

it is better to go out and live life to the fullest and ignore those who produce massive amounts of mental manure in the form of scientifically funded government research studies.


















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