Living in Hamalot


I like being kosher, but just not right now. Right now, I have to finish the 3.5 pounds of ham I bought to support the local economy…and have an option to chicken.

I live in a town known for one thing- southern barbequed ham. If you live within a thirty mile radius, you’ve heard of it. If you travel through the area, playing tourist, you might miss it, unless you walk inside the town store.

When you open the door, the whole store smells like barbequed ham. It sits warming in a rotissere machine, not more than a few feet from a cooler filled with ham-accessories- rich, sweet baked beans, cole slaw, and southern potato salad. There are other things in the cooler, but it is difficult to concentrate in the aroma-cloud of ham. Everything in the store is secondary, for back against the wall, through junk-food aisles, it hides, like a prize generator hiding on an electricity-free night in the dead-heat of summer.

I’m working on the ham. It may be my last. I am trying to give up ham for good, which may not be too difficult. Before I moved here, I really didn’t care much for ham. Although not a practicing Jew- I’m a Christian- I ate more of a kosher diet most of my life.

And I have seen some things…things I try not to remember when eating ham. I’ve inspected farms and seen what pigs will eat. I will not disgust you, but it isn’t pretty. There is a lot of wisdom to eating a kosher diet, but I won’t go into that right now. For now, let’s just say, my time in Hamalot is soon coming to a close, and I’ll be leaving behind ham-eating for good. So, as I enjoy my last barbeque ham, I must admit that living in Hamalot has helped me understand the meaning of porky…and helped me plan some other alternatives to the tasteless chicken option.

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About thelostkerryman

Thelostkerryman is an author, entrepreneur, and disciple- this side of Tir Na N'Og- living in the forests of a consistently confused country. Here in this hill country, hurling doesn't usually involve a hurley, store-made soda bread resembles an inedible Irish megalith, and Kerrygold is only found hidden like a luck penny in the belly of Kroger. This blog is an account of his adventures, thoughts, eclectic -and eccentric- ramblings, random or insightful poetry, humor and non-humor, pictures (photos), video, essays, fiction, poetic fiction, nonfiction, drama, and writing he has not classified in the description above. All of my posts, thelostkerryman.wordpress.com, everydayasadisciple.wordpress.com, and mrandmrsboring.wordpress.com are copywrited according to international copywrite law.
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2 Responses to Living in Hamalot

  1. Java Girl says:

    Is there kosher ham? Or bacon? Free range pigs? I rarely eat beef, fish or ham these days. I eat mostly chicken and ground turkey. I eat whole wheat bread and whole wheat pasta. I also no longer eat hamburgers from McDonalds or their fries. Ever since I saw that picture of that hamburger that was practically petrified for 20 years (I think), I thought I can’t have something like that in my belly. Instead of eating lettuce, I’ve switched it up with spinach. It takes time to change a diet, but after a time, you no longer miss it. Enjoy your ham!!!

    • Best to grow your own or get organic from the farm store. You’re not far from some awesome farms/farm stores there in Jersey. Watch out for cage free chicken that has an orange tint. It may have been fed processed marigold- I once inspected a farm where “cage free” chickens were mass fed a mix heavy with marigold. They all went completely mad and killed each other.

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